may 29, 2023

“Are you alone?” the villa host asked me as I walked into the shared kitchen for the umpteenth time, excited to make my trusty peanut noodles for lunch. 

Mix peanut butter, sesame oil, soy or hoisin, honey or sweetener, some pasta water until there’s a creamy consistency. Optional add-ins: minced garlic, green onions, chili. Pour over noodles with sliced cucumbers or other vegetables with a soft boiled egg. Any kind of noodles will do, including ramen

She seemed genuinely concerned, like I was walking around with a hole in my pants and no one had yet let me know. (This hasn’t happened IRL but is a very vivid dream I once had.)

“I thought you were with your boyfriend.” 

I explained he was away for a bit and would be coming back, so technically yes I was alone at the moment but not for the entire stay.

“Oh okay,” she said with a look of relief on her face. “I thought you were alone.” 

————

I wish we could do more celebrating of couples who are together and also enjoy being alone. 

There’s mainstream acceptance of solo travel, but it seems you have to proclaim it to the world to prove you’re a. actually alone and b. growing from this experience. 

On the flip side it’s commonly accepted that if you choose to stay with someone, you miss out on the experience of solo travel, which of course you do, but why is this? 

When T and I travel together we take individual trips when we feel like it. If one person wants to go somewhere and the other person is like, “eh, you know what, I’d actually rather stay put and continue my ongoing hobbies / work / existence,” then that person doesn’t go.

————

While I’m in this mood…

I also wish we could do more celebrating of non-life changing experiences and hear me out: non-life changing travel. 

When it comes down to it, isn’t every day life-changing? Our lives today are distinctly different from our lives yesterday. These days there’s so much pressure to seek out, experience, document, share your most life changing moments. It not only makes you feel bad when you’re not; it makes others feel down too.  

Here’s to the non-life changing and life changing moments alike in our lives. And semi-solo travel :)

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may 21, 2023